Let me start this recap by saying that tonight’s episode was dedicated to Luke Perry, who died Monday after suffering a massive stroke on Feb. 27. The outpouring of love and countless stories that have surfaced in the days since should tell you everything you need to know about Perry, and in my own experience, he was nothing short of one of the nicest actors I’d ever met. He will be missed, though Riverdale fans still have a little more time with Fred Andrews, as you saw in tonight’s episode.
Getting to this week’s episode, I’m happy to report that things have gotten better since last week, though I find it hilarious that the main plot of this episode is that even a child is smarter (and more interesting) than Archie Andrews. Let’s start at the beginning: Archie, unable to pay for his gym membership, agrees to start helping out around the gym, and on his first day of clean-up duty, he and Josie discover that a young boy named Ricky has been sleeping at the gym. According to Ricky, he was at a shelter, but a group of older men branded him with the same sacrifice mark Archie has from G&G. Now, Archie offers to let Ricky sleep in his garage.
Speaking of where people sleep, Alice is trying to sell Betty’s! Alice is in full-blown realtor mode as she tries to get rid of the house where Betty grew up, but Betty’s doing everything she can to sabotage the sale, like reminding people that her house has a nickname: The murder house on Elm Street! For every nice story, there’s one about how her dad was the Black Hood. Talk about a rich history!
At school, Betty catches Veronica, Jug, and Archie up on things in the first meeting of the core four we’ve had in FOREVER!! Sadly, it doesn’t last long and is pretty much ruined when Kevin walks through with the Farm and gives Betty the stink eye. Of all people, they had to take precious Kevin, didn’t they?! Anyone else would’ve been bearable!
When the Farmies get into a fight with the Poisons AND the Gargoyles/Serpents, Principal Weatherby warns both Toni and Jughead to get their gangs together, which is just a hilarious sentence from a principal. He’s not saying: “Gangs are bad, you shouldn’t be in them. You’re children!” He’s saying: “BE BETTER GANG LEADERS, CHILDREN!”
As for Veronica, she’s dealing with the fact that Gladys and Hiram are acting like they own Le Bonne Nuit. And seeing as how she owes them both money, she doesn’t exactly have a lot of leverage. Oh wait! She has an idea! She clearly needs more money, so why don’t they make their secret speakeasy into a secret casino?! Because again, these are teenagers. Running a secret casino can’t be any harder than studying for their SATs! (Just kidding, they already took their SATs!)
Back in gangland, Kurtz fesses up to robbing the chemistry lab as one of their “quests,” which leads Jug to ask FP for help. The Gargoyles now outnumber the Serpents, so what’s he supposed to do? “Outthink them,” is ultimately FP’s advice, and he suggests giving the gang members purpose. Remember how teens need homework? So do teens in gangs!
And thanks to Archie, they have their first assignment: After some gang members find Ricky at Pop’s and he runs away, Archie enlists Jug and the Serpents to help find him. Arch also calls Ms. Weiss, who agrees to look into Ricky’s case. Ultimately, they find Ricky at the old Gargoyle Gang headquarters because he’d heard they cleared out. This kid is either super smart or something weird is going on. The answer? Both! (Next: Ricky has a secret)